Weird Stalin Bans Smoking In Beer Gardens In Retaliation For Campaign To Ban Him From Pubs
It was way before the election when an enterprising and far-sighted landlord banned Starmer from his pub - and was assaulted by Starmer’s heavies for doing so.
Quoth the landlord of The Raven:
“Get out of my pub and return nevermore!”
Now that he’s a deeply unpopular PM, with approval ratings tanking, a campaign has taken off to ban him from more pubs:
By coincidence, under a week later, Weird Stalin has decided he wants to ban smoking in pub gardens and other outdoor spaces - for health reasons, you understand, to protect the NHS - just like with lockdowns. Only nobody’s buying it this time. Most see it as an attempt to destroy the British pub and to quell the mutinous mutterings of the slightly inebriated proles who might gather together at such venues when free speech on the internet is shut down completely.
I think it’s a spiteful, thin-skinned knee jerk reaction to having the piss taken out of him. These tinpot totalitarians really don’t like it up ‘em:
Corona hysteria normalised the idea that you should feel responsible/guilty for breathing out air that someone else might breathe in, the smoking outside ban is just another flavour of the same. Speaking forbidden words or ideas in public are similarly now criminalised to all extents and purposes. Perhaps this is where really dumb utopians inevitably lead us - into an inoffensive world of enforced delusion.
He puts the Dick in Dictator