The Unvaccinated Are At Increasing Risk From Vampires

Health conscious vampires have begun seeking out victims whose blood is not tainted by the mRNA injections and spike proteins. At first, many went hungry rather than risk biting the jabbed, but, being supernatural creatures, they’ve since developed a ‘nose’ for identifying spiked blood; an ‘ear’ too apparently, as they can detect when blood is moving more sluggishly through veins and arteries due to the presence of clotting and inflammation.

There have been reports of some vampires, expecting a nice, warm healthy blood meal, ending up instead with a mouthful of ‘spaghetti’ - the long, stringy, rubbery, highly indigestible stuff we saw on ‘died suddenly’ no doubt. The Vampires Union scheduled an urgent meeting and they resolved to do something about it, especially as Transylvanian vamps are not known for being big fans of Italian cuisine. Older vampires have better ‘noses’ than the young-bloods apparently, so it was agreed that they would work in teams to pinpoint and identify human pure-bloods.

My advice to the unvaccinated is: stock up on silver crosses, garlic and holy water and leave a plate of spaghetti Bolognese with a side of garlic bread by the side of the bed at night, which might tend to spoil their appetite.